Something to write about...

It is getting harder and harder for me to sit down and write. I don't feel inspired anymore. Two years ago I would have been excited to sit down and write everything that happened that day, or just mention random things that come into my mind. But now it just feels like a chore. I finish a sentence and then pause, waiting for the words to come and they never do. Why? I'm not sure, but I figured I should just sit down and do it. So, this is me, just writing. I learned last week the importance in just being yourself to God. To just take time to cry or yell and tell God exactly how you feel about anything. I'm not god with the demonstrating pain or hurt. I do anger and frustration pretty well, because it is easily used as a front for pain or hurt. But recently, what with the baby coming and work being hard (starting at the bottom doesn't help) among other things, I have been storing my pain deep inside. It makes me bitter to life, and quick to anger. I'm struggling with some relationship things with a friend as well. Without going in too deep they have separated, but he is trying to make it work and she doesn't care. That hurts me. It hurts that we can do nothing but sit by and pray. No one knows how I feel about it, and when I brought up that I need prayer from my life group they we're surprised. Nobody was aware of how I felt. That shouldn't be the case. I need to first make God aware (I know He is already, but the point is for us to get it out), then make others aware so they can help if need be. So this blog will be my diary. I want those who follow it to be aware of me. Of what I'm going through. My struggles and my pain, my laughter and good times. That way, I have no excuse. Also you may need to read something funny that day, or need someone to mention that they are feeling what you're feeling, and how they got through it. So here I am. I am an advocate to making waves, so if I write something extremely offensive and opinionated, then get over it. This is America, and one of my remaining rights (the list of our rights seems to get smaller and smaller...) is the right to bear arms. I can wear tank tops whenever I desire (my older brother is my inspiration in the bear arms department). But on a more related topic, I have the right to freedom of speech. So I'm taking it. Let's make some waves, let's do our thing. I'm doing mine right here once a week. Tune in if you want.